NICHE

I leave tomorrow to go back to the West coast.
I've been waiting for this stint in Chicago all fall. Ever since that night waaay back in September when I hugged my dad goodbye outside my temporary dorm I've been so excited to come back to Chicago. I joked all fall that I'd spent all of one week at home over all of 2008, but behind all those jokes was a giant case of homesickness.
And home hasn't let me down. Not really. I mean, I don't really have my own space right now (thanks to the Taiwanese exchange student living with us) and I don't have anything really besides my computer and my sheep. and I was only here for two weeks. But I enjoyed my stay.
I found myself randomly going up and hugging my mother in the middle of cooking dinner (something my brother would do, but not me) and I found myself purposely going and playing cards or reading around the family.
We Urbans might joke that I'm the grouchy one of the family and that I get cranky rather easily but it's nice to have my niche. Even if when I'm never quite sure what bed I'm sleeping in or I grumble about too many people, I love my home.

COOK TO STOP THE FALL

Well I'm home from Oregon. It weird being back in Chicago. I haven't really been back in almost a year. I mean I was home for 24 hrs in July for Kristine's graduation and then a week at the end of August where I got my wisdom teeth pulled. So that week does not really count considering the amount of drugs I was on makes memories from that time all in a fog.

But now I'm home. I've been home a week and only have a week left. This past week has been a hard one. I can feel myself slipping back to where I was last fall. Maybe not that low emotional point but to the point where I spend hours on end online or watching tv. And I wander the house. Living room, kitchen, dinning room, front hall, and back again. I find myself sitting, reading and rereading the same newspaper article. I catch myself letting phone calls go straight to voicemail. I stay up to all hours of the night because "I'm not tired" or "I have time to sleep tomorrow" The avoidance and homebodiness (is that a word?) from last fall is so easy to fall back into.


But I've been trying to counteract that. I'm not that person fragile person anymore. So cook. I've been cooking a lot. The ranch taught me that: how to cook, but also how to solve instead of avoid. One afternoon I turned on some Carole King and then some David Crowder Band and flipped through recipes and cookbooks. I spend all afternoon in the warm kitchen making dinner and dessert for the family. It was extremly rewarding, doing something constructive and benefical for all.
I took Gami grocery shopping which somehow turned into a stop at Vouge for ribbing and decorations for a Christmas stocking she's making.
I made gingerbread with Gami and her friend one morning. Talking about everything from Obama to rowing to geography of Africa.
I told Ranko I'd make a snowman with her today.

I'm making sure not to fall back down.

BLAHING MY WAY THROUGH ENGINEERING

I'm sitting in my engineering recitation not listening to the lecture.
My TA just admitted that he looked at the lesson plan for today ten minutes before class SO why should I try and appease him if he's not doing his half. He reads off the slides the professor provides and figures out the activities as we do them.
Oh, I started paying attention because he called on me. We're learning about ethics in engineering. I was asked to give an example of personal ethic problems. Luckily I could just look up and read that on the slide so I wasn't truly caught not paying attention.
blah blah blah
Only one more class meeting after this one for this class.
Did you know that "ethical standards are usually relative and personal"?

On another note I wore a tie to my oral presentation for this class last Thursday and got extra credit points on my presentation. Go ties!

And now we're suppose to know what the Ethical Cannons are but none of us have heard this before.

Ok I'm done.

LIBRARY WORKOUTS

I walked out of the library this afternoon into a crowd of people standing in a giant group. They were all quiet and listening to someone I couldn't identify.
It turned out to be man preaching. People were asking him about Jesus. He was answering their questions calmly and coherently. Just using scripture to tell the story. Not your standard sidewalk preacher.

On another note: it's December! Best month of the year. Everyone's festive and in a good mood. and it snows. Or at least snows in Chicago. It's 45 degrees and foggy here. Not a chance of snow.

Last week of term. Once I get through Thursday all I have to do is three exams in a seven day period. OH and workouts. Never forget the workouts. Our official "off season" means that coaches can't facilitate practice but that doesn't mean we have less workouts.

BORDERS WAITING

Yesterday afternoon some of the girls on our floor, Jenna, and I figured out the bus system and took the bus to see Twilight at the movie theater across town. Town's not huge but it's big enough that it would be a long walk or a nice bike ride. We opted for the bus because it had been threatening to rain all day (like that's anything new).
We saw the movie (I'm a fan) and then went back outside to catch the bus back. We've missed it by five minutes and the next one doesn't come for another 50 minutes. So we get food to kill time. It's a little unclear why we just don't start walking now. It would take more time to wait for the bus and take that home then it would to walk home at this point. We get back to the bus stop 40 minutes later (just to be on the safe side) and wait and wait and wait. By this time it's dark and gotten colder. and the bus is nowhere in site. We wait 35 mins having debates every 5 minutes if we should walking but somehow convincing ourselves that, "no, it's just around the corner." It's not until an hour and a half since we got out the movie that we decide to walk home. After about half an hour of walking we run into a Borders. Jenna and I get sidetracked.
We then spent the next 3.5 hours sitting in Borders reading. My friend Emily, the cross country runner, showed up and the three of sat in a line leaning against some far back corner shelf and read our respective books. It was a nice salvage of the night.
Oh and the Bevs won! One more game then Rose Bowl. (knock on wood)

LIVING IN NO RAIN CLOUDS

I'm getting used to the gray.
It hasn't rained since last Thursday and has been sunny up until today. The combination of hot air up high and cold air down low and no rain has created this giant blanket of fog pretty much all the time. It's very bizarre feeling. Walking across the field the only reason I know which direction the dorms are are the lights. Whenever I fly I always wonder what it feels like to be in a cloud. Now I know. Cold. A sharp cold. Not like Chicago cold that gets into your bones. But a cold that just sits on your skin. It also looks like I need glasses because everything more then 10 yards in front of me is a hazy blur.
This morning though the grayness was back and we're all just sitting ducks waiting for it to start dumping for days on end again. Early today I wanted to curl up and go back to bed (this being after weights when my body was sore and mad at me for moving) BUT I have overcome that feeling and am now finding the gray almost pretty.

GRAHAM CRACKER DADS

The thing about Dad's Weekend without a dad isn't the fact that my dad isn't here, it's the fact that everyone else's dad IS. The students suddenly don't necessarily have to be grown up all the time anymore. The dad's have cars, wallets, hugs, and common sense.
I talked to my Daddy last night. It was very nice. It was almost like we were having a conversation me sitting on the kitchen counter, him leaning against it, late in the evening. Eating graham crackers.

Cleaning the Pit

I'm in the middle of a mass cleaning of my room. My roommate, Jenna, is in bed napping because she's not feeling well and I have time to kill before the football game (35 mins to go, against UCLA). So far it's been very productive:
Step 1: separate dirty from clean clothes in my closet while at the same time organize the closet
Step 2: Laundry!
Step 3: Move all the big furniture out of the room, into the hallway. Comfy chairs, desk chairs, trashcans, recycling bin, mini tables, the works.
Step 4: Anything on the floor toss into the middle of the carpet in a giant heap.
Step 5: While tossing pull and put away anything that is Leslie's. (I am proud to say of all the crud living on our floor under and around everything only about 10% of it was mine. See, the ranch DID teach me something
Step 6: SWEEP!
Step 7: Sweep again
Step 8: Sweep once more just for good measure.
Step 9: Dust everything and anything that collects dust.
Step 10: Sit down to organize desk
Step 11: Get Jenna to come organize the now giant pile of stuff in the middle of the floor.
Step 12: Vacuum!
Step 13: Watch football

OSU BEAVER

I'm official!

http://www.osubeavers.com/ViewArticle.dbml?SPSID=25147&SPID=1976&DB_OEM_ID=4700&ATCLID=1605037&Q_SEASON=2008

AWE THAT LINGERS

The air here tastes good. It's one of the first things I noticed walking around the deserted campus on Labor Day with Dad. It's totally different from Colorado or Chicago air.

Chicago air I can't taste. No matter how hard I try, I can't taste it. It's too stale or polluted. The only time I can even smell it is when it's raining.

Colorado air hits your nostrils and BAM, you not only smell it but taste it instantly. Anyone whether they're trying or not will taste it. It's sweet and refreshing but at the same time has this wild ancient hint to it that makes you feel in awe.

Oregon, or more specifically Corvallis air, is subtle. I have first have to notice the wind or the lighting and then take a deep breathe. The air rushes into my lungs and it's not until it's all the way in do I notice the crisp sweetness to it. It's like an after taste, lingering in my lungs not on my tongue.

NAMELESS GERMAN

First day of classes:

Engineering
Chemistry
Calculus

I have a feeling my favorite is going to be Calculus. My professor speaks in a German accent and just passed out a syllabus and started teaching all about the difference between multiple variable calculus and what we'd done before. I hate it when instructors pass out papers and then proceed to read the whole thing aloud. A complete waste of time, in my book. We should all know how to read, comprehend, and ask questions is necessary by now. So he automatically got points in my book. Although I don't know his name.

GO BEAVS!

Quick note to say that on Thursday night we, the Oregon State Beavers, beat the USC Trojans in football.
This is even more remarkable when you realize that the Trojans were ranked #1 in the nation and we weren't ranked at all.
The Trojans did not look like a #1 team when we intercepted passes and stopped their offense on our half of the field. Or when they let our little guy go wiggling through guy's legit twice his size.
Probably the most exciting part though was the crowd. And the noise level and the orange EVERYWHERE. oh and how could I forget...the rushing of the field.

MYSPACE DRUNKEN SCHEMES

I'm sitting in the study room at the end of my hall "doing homework." In reality I'm searching through myspace artists ( http://www.myspace.com/jjalberhaskymusic ) and trying to figure out how to switch facebook back to the old version.
Actually the only reason I'm down here "doing homework" is because everyone else I know is still sleeping off their drunkenness or at gymnastics practice. To be fair everyone I know is all of like 20 people and last night was the first night they all went out and partied. I don't really have too much of an issue with this (I mean I don't have to participate) because I know if I did I'd just isolate them. I do have an issue if a) they are being stupid about it or b) are being cruel about it. Story time: one of the girls, A, here is one of those girls that was once really nerdy and over the past few years has just started to make herself more, for lack of a better word, cool. She's actually really sweet but does have tendency to say things at awkward moments. Everyone going out last night did this whole elaborate scheme to ditch her and so she was left here at the dorms. She was very upset about this and so I invited her to go grab a book and read with me. This of course sounds very dorky and I'd much rather have been like let's make our own party but then what? So we sat around and read our books and then went to bed about 11
I think she appreciated having me to hang with but at the same time I don't really understand how other people are so inconsiderate. This is the biggest culture shock I've had to get used to since leaving the ranch: the amount of disrespect and inconsideration for others. It's this constant gossip about others and self-centeredness that is driving me insane. It's so easy to get sucked up into it and I don't want to.

TINY LITTLE BLESSING

There's something about being out on water for the day, getting splashed and sunburned that can't really be explained. And that day that just seemed dim and missing so much doesn't seem so bad any more. You call a friend, finish a well-written paper, respond to an email, make plans to call your mother, listen to a sermon about God's good kisses, wash your face, and climb into bed with a homemade quilt on top. And really self-pity and depression can't creep into those prayers.

EVALUATION

My days at the ranch are very numbered. In fact I count them on one hand. Two days.
And surprisingly I'm ready. Mentally, emotionally, spirtitually, physically.

Physically, my room is mostly packed up. The only stuff left is clothing etc that I'll use in the next couple days.

Mentally, I'm counting down hours until my family gets here. (17 hrs) I'm so excited to show them my home. No one really gets this place unless you've been here and even with them coming for 2 days I'm hoping they'll at least understand it a little. Not they don't understand but it's more like they just can't. Everytime I walk around the ranch these days I try and picture it through their eyes.

Spiritually, all I can say is that God's love and grace is sufficent. That's it. I've had countless examples of that for the past year and I feel like he's prepared me to face the Real World and whatever it throws at me for now.

Emotionally, I'm already feeling the disconnect that is going to be completly necessary soon. Half of my support system here has already gone home. The new crowd of staff is moving in. And I feel myself purposedly not making big emotional connections to any of them because I know I'm leaving. Plus I feel like JVL has done all it can do for me right now. I love this place and everything it represents, but at this point in my life I'm ready to move on. That doesn't mean I'll never come back because I really don't know what the future holds for me. Trusting God here.
That being said I will miss it all. And it definitely will hurt when I do leave. But that's something that's worth what I got.

2 ADVENTURES FROM THE RANCH IN COLORADO

Adventure 1:

I went fishing a week or so ago for the first time ever. I went with Jordan and this 5-year she was watching, Will. I'm the resident JVL Indian so I was dressed up in my headdress, buckskins, and war paint. We were using pepperoni as bait and Jordan had caught this giant trout within about 30 sec of putting her line in. We were so surprised that we had caught something it slipped out of hands and back into the pond. Will was very upset about this. He's watching the fish swim away and leans over thinking can catch it again and ends up tumbling into the water. Jordan: "He can't swim! He can't swim!" So I tear off my Indian clothes and jump in after him and pull him to the little gravelly beach on the other side of the pond. Will immediately starts sobbing because he's Indian headdress that is made out of construction paper is "soggy!!!" I immediately start freaking out inside because his whole leg is coated in blood. But then looking down my left foot is also blood red. I had scrapped off most of the skin on my toe and the blood had gotten everywhere. Will was thankfully unhurt. Turning around to look at the pond I notice my shoes about to go over the little water fall down into the creek. So I go sprinting across the water to save my shoes.

Fortunately for the rest of the week Will was NOT traumatized and would come up to everyday and say "Hi, Josh the Indian!" My Indian name is Shusha (It means running water) and he couldn't remember that so he called me Josh.

Adventure 2:

Last Wednesday Jenny the Baker and I decided to go climb a 14,270 ft mountain called Gray's. To give you an idea how tall that is: Pike's Peak is only 14,049 ft and you drive up with a donut shop on top of it. We get to the trail head and it looks very sketch but oh well. We walk a good 1.5 hrs up this 45 degree angled totally pot-holed road. And we're working hard. We are not talking at all. All we're thinking about is putting one foot in front of another. And we round this bend and there's the real trailhead: parking lot, bathrooms, official sign. And this man stops to tell us we've climbed about 2,000ft at this point and 3 mi. But he points to this mountain which reaches almost to the clouds and says you have another 4 mi one way and another 2,000ft to go. And you didn't have to do those 1st three miles. You were suppose to drive it.

Are you kidding me!?!?!? That's it!??! And we're already half dead from this climb and we haven't even started the real trail?!??!?!

Jenny and I are disappointed but we're here now so we start off. (We immediately cross the Continental Divide) The air is getting thiner and thiner and our legs are burning more and more. We find this sign that says we've come another 2 mi and have climbed another 2,000ft. Halfway Up. Oh dear. We're not going to make it though. The rest of the trail is full out switch backs up this crazy steep mountain and we're already dead.

So we make a decision that you know what hiking 10 mi round trip with a 4,000ft elevation change and getting above tree line is good enough for today. And we can always try again another day.

So we turn around feeling accomplished anyways and the trip that took 3 hrs going up only takes an hour going down and I spend the whole time explaining crew to Jenny.

Now this might surprise you guys who knew me before I came out here But rowing is not my life here. In fact whole days go by when I don't think about crew. People know I'm a rower and that was my life before and I"m going to row for school etc but my addiction has dropped significantly since being out here. It doesn't occupy my conversations or my clothing or my schedule. So Jenny truly didn't know much about it. And she just kept asking questions and I just talked and talked and talked. And the more I talked the more passionate I got about it and the excited I got about going back to it come fall. God's given me this passion for this and given me the gifts to be good at it but that doesn't mean it hasn't to be my sole focus, almost my idol, when I go back. I can excel at it and love doing it without become so consumed. A healthy balance.

WORSHIP

Yesterday was my day off and I went to church.

It was the first time since February I'd gone to actually church and it was the coolest feeling standing with thousands of people with the praise band rocking and everyone singing. Being surrounded by a community of believers. Even if I didn't know anyone we were all there worshiping together. I wish I could have that more often.

FULL MOON TEXAS FANS

I am sitting outside the Staff Room at a picnic table watching a full moon appear from the clouds. About half the staff is crammed into the Staff Room eating Captain Crunch or Cinnamon Toast Crunch. I'm normally in the mood to hang out and visit but at the moment I'd much rather be out here by myself listening to the sprinklers going.

I'm sorta too restless to go to bed and would LOVE to go sleep out tonight but the weather is iffy.

I'd love to go sleep at the top of Sheep's but that's a good hour+ vertical climb in the dark isn't smart to do with someone else nevertheless by yourself. So Mother, I am going to sleep in my own bed tonight where I can't break a leg or be eaten by bears.

Zachary Ragle is now standing here bugging me. He's from Texas actually from Ohio but is a Texas Longhorn's fan so we're not friends no matter what he says.


bed?

GRAND SLAM TROUGHING

Thursday was my birthday and tradition on the Ranch is the Birthday Person gets thrown in the horses' water trough. Typically it's only once and then you shower and you're fine. For some unknown reason the boys decided it would be fun to through me twice. So on Thursday I was troughed twice, took three showers, and wore five different outfits.
The last time I changed clothes I had no clean dry underwear so I pulled a pair out of the dryer which hadn't dried yet and dried it with a blow dryer.

Yesterday Hannah, Jordan, and I spent the day in Denver hanging out and taking naps on Hannah's mom's bed. And then met up with six other staff girls for the Rockies game. It was such a fun game. The game was sold out and at one point the whole entire Coors Field was doing the wave. It was awesome.
Also Rockies won in the bottom of the ninth 18 to 17. It was ridiculous. With home run after home run with a couple Grand Slams mixed in there.
And then there were fireworks afterwards for the 4th. Everyone was saying how the fireworks show was going to be amazing. But I guess I'm spoiled with Chicago/Evanston fireworks because they were cool but not nearly has awesome as at home.
Also the last song that they played with the fireworks was Joyful Joyful which was cool but odd.

I'm not tired and cranky. and I woke up to a strange girl in Mary Ellen's bed. Turns out it's an old staff girl here for the weekend but still not what I wanted to wake up to.

BEES IN NEVERLAND

I was napping the other evening before dinner and I wake up to banging. Mary Ellen is trapped inside our room. She's been trying to get out for the past ten minutes but the door handle wouldn't turn. She wakes me up and tries to get me to open it. I can't but I suggest climbing out the window and trying it from the other side.

We punch out the screen and realize that we have to either a) jumped from a second+ story window or b) leap across a flight of stairs to reach our porch. Mary Ellen refuses to let me even stick my head out the window because she says I'll kill myself. But Mary Ellen is to scared to try. We both are sitting on the windowsill (see above) arguing when Leanne comes around the corner. She stops, laughs, and then comes to let us out. Of course as she's climbing the stairs to let us out I try the door again and it opens.

But remember our screen is not in our window anymore. We normally leave our window open with a fan blowing. Over the next couple of days every time I come into the room it's stuffy stuffy stuffy because ME has closed the window claiming bugs are getting in. I keep opening it and I never see any bugs in our room.

This morning ME and I finally put our screen back in after I'm about to drink from my Nalgene and ME starts freaking out. I guess yesterday I giant bee was in our room and ME only had time to grab my water bottle (mind you her's is sitting right next to mine) and catch the bee in it. She doesn't bother a) emptying the water and bee out or b) telling me. But that's Mary Ellen for you.




On Thursday instead of having our normal staff meeting we had Staff on the Rock. Which is this party twice a summer for staff on some rock somewhere off the ranch. We all dressed up as Peter Pan characters and went down to the pond where there was a giant moon walk in the shape of a pirate ship with little tea candles floating all across the pond and lights strung up in the trees and couches hauled from the upper staff room. Basically Neverland in Colorado. We had a giant dance party, ate pizza and played 2 truths and a lie, took tons of pictures, and just relaxed.

I think my favorite party were the costumes. Hannah and I were Lost Boys and spent about an hour just getting dirty: rolling in mud, rubbing ash on our faces, putting sticks in our hair. I even had a teddy bear that I ribbed up and kicked into the creek to look old and loved. But on top of my costume I somehow became the Costume Lady and spent the all day helping about 10 different people get their costumes together. I made mermaids, pirates, Indians, aligiators, peanut butter jars, and Peter Pans. I think that part was more fun the party itself.


Heidi as Wendy and Sable as Peter














The Lost Boys from left to right:
Allyson
Molly
Katelyn
Hannah
Me











Aly and Tammie as Tinkerbell
Logan as Peter Pan













Left to Right:
Mary Ellen as Mrs. Darling
Leanne as a can of Peter Pan Peanut butter
Heather, Katie, and Caroline as Indians










Debbie and Abby as mermaids.

GLUING UNDER THE STARS

I've spent my morning cleaning my room and washing my sheets. My roommate, Mary Ellen, is a neat freak but claims that she doesn't mind my messy side of the room as long as her half is clean. I know she's lying. Today she comes running in, sees the room, freezes, and then proceeds to jump on me and tells me she loves me.

I've decided though that I don't really like sleeping inside. Every once in awhile I'll pull my blankets off my bed and sleep out under the stars somewhere. Last night is was on our roof. Tonight Jenny the Baker, Jordan, and I are going down the creek awhile and sleeping there.

I just finished wandering to various parts of the ranch asking different crews if they have brightly colored Indian feathers. Of course the last crew I ask are the Kiddie Sup's and they have bags and bags of them. I'm now attempting to load House online and hot glue gun feathers onto my Indian headdress for tonight's Melodrama. FYI: It's hard to type with your finger tips coated in dried glue.

HOBART THE PEPPERS

I spent five hours this morning chopping peppers. Small dices, big dices, fat slices, tiny slivers. It was ridiculous. I stopped once in awhile to Hobart (the dishwasher) and make pancake mix.

But I'm off now until 1pm tomorrow.
I love the live of a kitchen boy.

SORTA KINDA MAYBE MY CHILDHOOD

I spent three hours in the pool this afternoon playing the Color game with kids about Emy's age. It reminded me of my childhood. Except it was a pool not the lake. And it wasn't with TT and Lisa and Haley and Sarah. So that was strange. But it still feels like summer.

MR. CRABBY PANTS

I am sitting in the upper staff room with Hannah, Biff, and Kyle. Supposedly the other three are practicing for worship on Staff meeting on Thursday night. But at the moment Biff is sitting on Kyle's lap. Kyle is fighting him off. And OHHHH! Biff has "broke my fourth rib...You count from the bottom."

They've picked songs. But are now debating if they actually want to unpack their instruments. Kyle just woke up and is Mr. Crabby Pants and is complaining about the heat even though he's from Alabama and it's not hot at all.

HOW!

Every Friday night we have a Melodrama in the Hay Loft Opera House aka the Barn.
I'm the Indian. My job is to tell really bad jokes in between scenes to waste time.
Example of one of my really bad jokes: "What do you do when you see a bear?" Audience answers, "Run!" Indian: "No! You do not run. Why? Colorado bears like fast food."

A lot of my jokes require a volunteer. General rule if it needs a volunteer the joke's worse then a bad. I cringe inside sometimes.
But yesterday I chose this really quiet boy to be my volunteer. and his mother came up to me afterwards and thanked me for choosing him. He was so excited that I knew his name and was already repeating my bad joke to tell his friends back home.
It made me realize how much these kids look up to us. I was only an Indian telling bad jokes. Imagine if I had been there Wrangler taking them out on rides every day, twice a day. Imagine how big of an impact we, as staff, can have on these kids. How cool.

24 HR WAL-MART AND ER

ok so funny story or maybe not so funny story. but a story nontheless.

I was hoping into the back of a van and wacked my head on the top door latch thing.

Didn't black out but immediately started puking everywhere and the world was spinning.

A couple hours later when I definitely wasn't feeling better Mary Ellen drove me in to the nearest hospital an hour + away. We arrived at the ER at about 10:30 were there about two hours. The whole entire time I didn't see any other patients. No one else came. No one else was there. No one else left. It made everything for me go very fast.
After a clear CT Scan they drugged me up on some anti-dizziness/nausea meds plus some tylenol for the ridiculous headache I had. It felt like an army of jackhammers going off in my head. and sent me on my way.

We stopped at the Wal-Mart the only thing in all of Woodland Park, minus the hospital, that's open at 1am and bought supplies before we headed back into the middle of nowhere.
I don't remember much of Wal-Mart but for some unknown reason I bought egg rolls and socks.

This morning I woke up at noon feeling very very hung over and still with a blazing headache.

RASPBERRY FLAVORED YOGA

So I've been working out a lot lately.
I talked to my new coach the other day and she put the fear of God in me. In a good way.
So I've been working out.
This morning I swam for 40 min then did 20 mins of yoga and 20 mins of pilates with my roommate, Mary Ellen.
Mary Ellen is self-proclaimed health nut. In reality this means that she spends half of lunch searching through all the bread trying to find the "real whole wheat bread. The one that doesn't say enriched."
I on the other hand am getting hungry for lunch in 19 mins.
Why, you might ask? Well so far today I've had a raspberry sorbet smoothie with coffee frappuccino and cookie dough in it. Very healthy.

Listening to: Over the Rhine

BREAKFAST IN OKLAHOMA

As a Kitchen Boy I either work from 6am-2pm or 1pm-9pm.
This week I'm on the 1 to 9 shift meaning I get to stay up at night and sleep in in the mornings.
Except I've been getting up and eating breakfast in the DR with guests.
This morning I ate with a family from Oklahoma City who had 4 kids, ages: 8,6,4,2. They have a fifth kid on the way. The mother is seven months pregnant and looks gorgeous.
Our breakfast conversation ranged from fly fishing to homeschooling to skyscrapers to lincoln logs to cochlear implants to the best way to eat eggs.
It was a very satisfying breakfast Especially with my Cran-Raisin bread french toast.

FOR MY FAMILIA

Don't worry. I'm alive.
I will call some time soon.
Sorry it hasn't been sooner.
That doesn't mean I love or miss you less.

GOOD WIFE vs SUMMER IN THE CITY

I was offered a job here for the summer. The only hitch is that instead of being a Cabin Girl, I'd be a Kitchen Boy. Normally the kitchen is an all guys crew (Don't ask why. The ranch is not politically correct at all.) but all the girls' crews were full and they wanted to keep somehow so they invited me into the kitchen.

Various people's reactions to this news:
My roommate, Mary Ellen: "You're going to be such a good wife. You'll know how to clean AND cook by the time you leave here."
Biff: "Hey, Hey! You're going to be the KH!...the kitchen hottie."
J Ham, my Cabin Girl crew leader: "What!?!?!?!? You should have just told me you were leaving the ranch."
Mike, head of maintenance: "Hahahhahaha. Remind me to NOT eat in the DR anytime soon."
Hannah: "Um..is this a good thing?"

This IS a good thing. I'm a little nervous, not going to lie. But at the same time I'm excited to try something new. I'm definitely going to give it a try.
That being said, I'm not going to be coming home to Chicago until August now. Which DOES make me sad because I don't get to spend summer in the city with all my friends I haven't seen all year.
And it has been quite awhile since I've seen my family. I miss them.

But at the same time I love this place. It's awesome. Not just the fact that I step outside every morning and am awestruck by Sawtooth getting hit with just the tips of the sun but I love the community, the people, even the work, the growth that I'm having here. I love it all. Yes, I DO wish there was an hour or two more in the day where everyone was required to sleep, but what can I do about that?

KISSING SHARKS AT PROM

Well folks I'm sorry. Every night I think about attempting to get online and posting again but every night I find some excuse to curl up in bed instead. So here is a nice long post for you folks to enjoy.

Last Monday happened to be Hannah, Jordan, and I's day off so the three of us road tripped the two hours North to Boulder to visit Hannah's best friend for life, Molly, who is at school at UC Boulder. Let me just say Boulder is the coolest city ever!! We spent the day wandering Pearl St shopping. I bought a sweet Patagonia raincoat for school next year and some Rainbow sandals. And we tried on funky hats (including one with a fake beard attached) and got ubber cheap henna and I bought a kite! It's tye-dye and fantabulous. We met up with Molly and went and flew my tye-dye kite along with Barbie and Tigger kites, that Molly's roommate had, on the engineering school's lawn. Not to brag or anything but I'm a pretty terrific kite flier. I'm not sure if it's because mine was so much awesomer being tye-dye and all but it flew like ten times higher then Tigger or Barbie did.

We then went to a hippie bar for dinner. It was full of people in dreds and Birkenstocks drinking beer or hot tea. I'm moving to Boulder. Anyone with me?

Other news: Brooke had her baby! His name is Will and he was born a month early but he's already back at the ranch (with an oxygen tank but I guess that's sort of normal for babies born in Colorado. Not enough oxygen in the air for their little lungs.) He's tiny tiny tiny and sleeps 98% of the time.

Us Cabin Girls had an outing the other day. We took the afternoon off and went to the Aquarium where I petted a sting ray and kissed a shark (through the glass unfortunately). We went to this place called Cheeburger Cheeburger for dinner. We all got balloon hats (mine was Viking Hat, yellow braids and all) and made friends with our waiter, Brad. Brad had prom coming up but had just broken up with his girlfriend and didn't have a date. We volunteered Jordan. Jordan had to work that night but the prospect of going to prom for the sixth time (She's a prom junkie.) made her super super excited. Brad and us CGs got so close by the end of the night we not only closed the place down but Brad is now applying to work at the ranch.

Oh wait Hannah just reminded me: at Cheeburger Cheeburger they had this challenge that if you ate the 20 oz cheeseburger then they'd take your picture and put it on their Wall of Fame. I am proud to say I took the challenge to eat the cheeseburger that was as big as my head and not only did I eat it all I downed it with time for a Mango Vanilla shake afterwards. And I wasn't sick on the two hours of curvy narrow roads on the way home. Yes I did sleep the whole way while we listened to Amy Grant but you know.

Holy crap it's May 4th already.

CG - The Real Cowgirls

SPANKEY MEETS THE BROAD MARES

The weather here is ridiculous. It will snow a foot in a couple of hours and then 24 hrs later it will be 80 degrees without any snow anywhere on the ground. This has been the pattern for the past two weeks.

I taught my roommate Mary Ellen how to "mountain bike." As in I taught her how to use her gears on non-paved roads.

Hannah and I went biking down to the Jail today and ran into all the wranglers bringing the stallion, Spankey, down to the broad mares to mate. Hannah and I decided to tag along. Spankey was VERY excited to see those mares and lets just say all hell broke loose. It was basically a horse soap opera/porn. Very bizarre. Made all the better with all our peanut gallery commentary.

A bunch of us who have tomorrow off are going to the Cubs vs Rockies baseball game tomorrow. Only me, Moose, and Ali are Cubs fans everyone else is going to be cheering for the losing team. Poor them.

J S in N

I now have a roommate. Hannah and Jordan have been my bunkhouse mates but I've had my own room room. Now a girl named Mary Ellen sleeps in the bed next to me. She just talks and talks and talks. It's actually insane how much she talks. There are moments where I don't say anything for a good hour because she's just chattering and chattering and chattering. She's also very very ADD so if I zone out for even ten seconds I'm completely lost. I can't figure out what to think of her yet.

In other news: It's been snowing perpetually since yesterday morning. We now live in Narnia. If only Mr. Tumnus would offer us some tea or Aslan would breathe on our frozen toes to bring them back to life.

I've started playing guitar. As of a week ago. I know how to play G, D, C, Em, B, A chords. Which basically means I can play any praise song ever written.
Hannah, Biff, and I had a jam session the other night up in the Roundup Room. Biff played the piano like it was what he was born to do and Hannah belted out song after song like she was Christina Aguilera or Carrie Underwood while I strummed along on the guitar. It was pretty sweet.

Hannah, Biff, and I have started talking in abbreviations to each other. So instead of saying, "We're having mac and cheese with creamed spinach" We say, "We're having M&C with C S." It gets pretty fun when you have NO idea what they're talking about.
Can anyone figure out what the title of this post is, then?
Hint: It's something from the third paragraph and then the second paragraph.

It's just 9 o'clock but my bed is calling my name.

SITTING IN A CLOUD

This afternoon I attempted to hike up to Southern Comfort. Unfortunately the path was very snowy so I changed plans and hiked to Camera Rock.

Below is an excerpt of what I wrote while I was at the top:

The wind up here is scary. It howls and whirls. I turn around expecting to see its source, its maker and there is nothing. Not even leaves flapping. The only thing letting me know its here is the burnt trees being rocked from their roots and the noise. Oh the noise is like standing on the side of a highway hitchhiking, driving down Lake Shore Drive with the windows rolled down, and the angry sea storm that God sent for Jonah. This makes me feel so feeble. I’m fighting, pushing against something so magnificent.

I’m sitting in a cloud. Literally. Snow is appearing out of nowhere. I’m sitting on the edge of the world for all I know; there are clouds below me. It hurts to look up it’s so gray. It looks blank but then somehow it's 3-D like I’m staring into outer space.

EMPTY TEAR DUCTS

Brilliant Moment of the Day:

I walked into a door.

We had 14 cabins to Thoro in 2 hrs today (that is physically impossible, fyi) and we run into the first cabin all pumped and I say, "Let's GO!" Turn and run smack into a door with the side of my nose. I instantly start seeing stars and sobbing because a) it was ridiculous painful and b) I hit my tear duct and couldn't control my tears anymore. I collapsed into Hannah and sobbed into her lap until I got my vision back and then just started cracking up and the ridiculousness of myself. Now the whole left side of my nose is scraped up and my whole face is really tender. It's sad looking. The Staff Room got a good laugh out of it though

THIS IS FOR TT

TT told me the other day that I should post more often even if it's just two sentences saying "Hi. I'm alive."

So I was going to come and just post "Hi. I'm alive." But where's the fun in that?

News from the Ranch?

The only thing I've been doing this week is Thoro-ing cabins. Which means a complete cleaning of the cabin after the guest leaves and before the next guest comes in. We've thoroed over 25 cabins in the past four days. Each thoro takes anywhere from 30 min (for the teeny tiny cabins) to 1.5 hrs (for the huge gianormous cabins).
I've hit 53 hrs and I still have tomorrow to work. Let's just say our boss is NOT happy about having to pay that much overtime. All I have to say is if you don't want to pay us then don't have people only stay one night where we have to thoro the cabin every other day.


Us Cabin Girls hit this stage we like to call Delirious because we crack up at everything and anything. It happens everyday around 4pm and lasts through dinner. We're becoming infamous in the Staff Room. When the Cabin Girls show up the fun and laughter begins. If only it would last through the evening work shift.

I bought crocs the other day online and they came I've been wearing them nonstop since then. They are amazing cabin girl shoes! (We have to take off our shoes every time we go into a cabin.) I've been wearing these crocs all of one week and last night I was sitting cross legged on the floor of the comm and stand up and pop they're broken. The plastic that was holding the strap on broke off. I'm pissed. They're are a freakin' week old! and I wasn't treating them badly or anything. I'm going to call croc and complain, hopefully get a new pair.

IT SEEMED LIKE HOME

It almost seemed like I was home in Chicago today.
There were 30 mph winds howling all day and I saw a squirrel. It was jet black with the biggest bushiest tail I've ever seen.

It almost seemed like it was summer today.
There was 70 degree temperatures and I was barefoot all day. This was tricky at times, like when I had to walk down the gravel path to the staff room.

It seemed like home here today.
There was a maintenance boy who greeted me with a hug and I knew where to find a humidifier. It was buried in the Coal Bin under enough boxes of matches to last the ranch until the year 2019.

It seemed like home here today.
There was the time I swerved around the elephant pothole instinctively and now I'm sitting in my bunkhouse with a good friend. This is calming: she's doing her thing contently, I'm doing my thing contently.

DAYS OFF

So last Monday I had a day off and Brooke had to go to the doctor's office (She's now on bed rest for the next month so Lil Cracker wouldn't be born too early. We go and have devo's with her everyday and cleaned her house the other night. The problem is that she's not even allowed to lift Becca so everyone is pitching in to help take care of her. Yesterday J Ham carried Becca around on her back in one of those baby backpacks while we cleaned. It was amusing.) OK so on with my story. I'd been dying to go to the library for awhile just because I'd been going into book withdrawal so Brooke dropped me off at the library went to her dr. appt. then came back to pick me up.
So I was sitting there reading my book and this boy who comes up to me who looks like Kayne West but cuter and starts talking to me and we end up talking for three hours and walking the two blocks to Starbucks and I got his number. It was all very surreal at the time.
But no, I'm not going to call him.

Tomorrow is my day off again. (YEAH! I worked 58.75 hrs last week and I can guarentee that this week is going to top 60 hrs.) Hannah, Jordan, and I are going to get into some mischief.

Today after working 11 hrs we noticed the pool was unfrozen. As in, it was now filled with gallons on gallons of melted snow. I decided we needed to jump in. So we did. It was instant "AHHHH! Where'd my body go?!?!?! Must move arms to swim to side." It was so freakin' cold. We then jumped in the hot tub so our clothes wouldn't freeze on us. and promptly showered off in nice warm shower so no fear of hypothermia. It was fun. Hannah is saying that "I'm bad news and am always getting her into mischief and she shouldn't listen to me anymore." But I can guarantee you that by tomorrow morning she'll be up for a little more fun.

FIRSTS

It's been awhile. This past week we had staff conference.

Things I did for the first time this past week:
1. Learned to box. Mike taught me and then proceed to cream me.
2. Played football on a field carved into the side of Pike's Peak.
3. Went to Cheesecake Factory and did not eat cheesecake.
4. Fixed Buddy, the computer.
5. Played Outburst-Bible Edition, and failed beyond believe.
6. Now know the population of Kansas, Minnesota, California, and Chicago
7. Went snowshoeing
8. Got a tattoo. Ok. Fine, it's temporary.
9. Found a bat skeleton
10. Rocked out on Guitar Hero
11. Go-Karted with Hannah as my "coxswain"
12. Climbed through the attic of the lodge here at the ranch and realized we were eavesdropping on a private conversation about someone breaking up with their girlfriend. only slightly awkward.
13. Stalked a boy.
14. Ate a M&M McFlurry then went on a merry-go-round. Hint: NEVER EVER do this.

Oh and I'm about to go to a square dance and I will NOT come back with a concussion or any other sort of injury.

RIP BUDDY

It's a sad day today.

Buddy, my computer, is dead. This is entirely my fault in every way. Our bunkhouse porch is up a flight of stairs (the kitchen loading dock is below us) and I was sitting on our hammock on the porch with Buddy on the edge waiting for me to bend over and pick him up. I spin around not thinking and accidentally kick Buddy and he goes tumbling down the flight of stairs. I was afraid that the screen would break off or something but he looks good as new just wouldn't turn on. So I'm on Jordan's computer. And I'm sorry Jordan but this computer isn't red or even a Dell, it's a Toshiba. OH well. Beggars can't be choosers.

You might also be asking why I'm not at work at the moment. Well that's because I'm still freaking sick! I hate hate hate being sick. waaaaay to much idle time and you can see/hear everyone having fun and I'm stuck in bed freezing even with 10 blankets on and not being able to sleep because my own coughing wakes me up. yuck.

On a happy note I've discovered how to work out/release all my restless energy.
I climb mountains.
It's amazing. I might start on a trail but then I just go off. The best part is when I have to scramble over boulders, hanging by my arms while I find feet holes or running as fast as I can up a flat wall and if I don't run fast enough I just slide down. and then I get to the top and I just stand there almost literally in the clouds and all I can do is laugh out loud for pure joy.
I can only describe it as amazing.
JD and Mike have some climbing gear so some day when we all have the same day off we'll go actual rock climbing. Hopefully up Sheep's Rock which reminds me of a smaller less intimidating version of Yosemite's Half Dome.

LIFE OF A LOST VALLEY RANCH TOWEL

The towels arrive in their Sysco boxes ecstatic for their new life at JVL.
After unpacking they have their virgin journey to one of the 24 cabins to assist the guests in their drying.
The towels quickly become adjusted to life on the ranch as day after day they get shuttled in Mona from the Comm to the Cabins and back again.
The learn to have a great appreciation for the cabin girl's hard work of bathing them and folding them into perfect thirds to be ready for the next guests.
As they wait on the shelves, soak up water, and scrub guest's faces they slowly start to lost their shine. Holes, tears, bleach stains, and fraying ends mark the oldest most experienced towels.
Eventually those wise old towels get branded with a black "S." Marking them as insignificant and they get shafted to the Staff.
The Staff for some unknown reason do NOT give the towels baths as often as the cabin girl's did. The unlucky "S" towels that get stuck in the abyss of the Upper Bunkhouse with the wranglers miraciously turn from pink to manure brown in a matter of days.
This becomes to much for those old worn out towels and they are rescued by those loving cabin girls who shred them into handy dandy cabin girl rags.
Those rags are then used for cleaning toilets, sinks, tubs, floors, light fixtures, windowsills, lamps, tables, hide-a-beds, baseboards, walls, shelves, drawers, mirrors, and your occasional spiderweb.
The life of a Lost Valley Ranch Towel is long and hard but appreciated by any cabin girl who's ever hung out the door of Mona.


-written by Hannah J and Leslie U

SLEDDING, S'MORES, MAFIA

Starting at the left going to the right, the top row of people: Alison in the red coat, Taylor also in red, Russel in Green, Tony in red on the right. Back to the left below Alison, left to right: Sable in the white scarf, Jen Ham in the very front, Jenny the cook in the brown, Heather in the bright blue behind Jenny, Caroline in the white, Peter in the gray-ish coat, Me in the bright blue, Jordan in the white coat with furry hat, Allie at the end in front of Tony. And Jimbo is taking the picture.

Last night we went sledding. JVL style.
We hiked down to the Jail (this site down the valley about a mile and a half that we take hay rides to or have lumberjack breakfasts at) in our gear hauling inflatable tubes (like the one Russel is holding up in the above picture). We get to the foot of the "hill" we were going to sled and realize that duh there is 4ft of snow on it. 4ft does NOT make for a fast ride or an easy hike up. This hill is about twice the height of the big hill on Mt. Trashmore. Hiking up to the top was probably harder then any 2k race I've been in. No kidding. It took everyone going down at least three times (and hiking back up) before the track was perfect. But it was well worth it; we sledded by the light of an almost full moon.
If you went down head first there was this bump where you'd get some air and flip over and if you were good could catch your tube midair, land on it, and head the rest of the way down.
Then we started making chains. We started out with a chain of oh only three people but by the last run we attempted to make one long chain of all 14 people. We only had six tubes though so we had multiple layers. It wasn't the fastest ride but it was definitely the most fun.

We headed back to the lodge and the fireplace in the dining room to make s'mores. The DR has one the biggest fireplaces I've ever seen. So we could fit about ten of us roasting marshmallows at a time.
We topped of our night of being kids by playing mafia. Basically you can't beat a night of sledding, s'mores, and mafia.

MOOSE HEAD COLLISONS

It's been almost a week since I've posted. I'm sorry.
I've worked 10-12 hour days all week getting ready for our first guests and then dealing with the guests.
Our first group of guests where a group of single American born Chinese who arrived on Valentine's Day and leave tomorrow morning. They started arriving about 2pm on Thursday. All week it was gorgeous clear skies with temps in the 40s until Thursday morning when it starts snowing and about a foot of snow is expected to snow by noon. Problem. The ranch is in the middle of nowhere, down a one lane dirt road clinging to cliffs. Meaning no plows or anything besides a 4-wheel vehicle will be able to get down the last 9mi. of road to us. So at 5:30am everyone was up. All the boys out shoveling (if guests slip and break anything they can sue us for everything we have) and all the girls are running around cooking breakfast (the kitchen guys are out shoveling) and running last minute needs/making beds (I made about 50 beds that day). Everyone got 15 min meal breaks and then we were was back to running around like a chicken with our heads cut off. To get the 85+ guests down those last 9mi. we used ranch vehiles to shuttle them it. Which just pulled staff away from helping get ready. I spent all day driving Mona with Hannah, going to all 24 cabins with a clipboard stuffed full of needs for each cabin and trying not to fall on our butts. It was INSANE. All the staff have walkie-talkies and I don't think there was a moment of silence over the air the whole day. But we did. By the time guests started arriving everything looked normal. (At least until the heater broke in Cripple Creek Cabin at midnight and Mike, the head maintenance guy, who'd already worked 19 hrs straight, had to go fix it)

It's odd having guests finally. Everyone's now on their best behavior and the staff room is a revolving door now instead of a lounge.

On Friday I finally got a little more then an hour off before dinner and I went on a run. Stupid altitude sucking all the oxygen out of the air. I ran past Peter and Tony taking out a ride of guests. I pasted them on my way back also and Tony started following me and one of the ladies riding started freaking out and saying, "The horse! The horse! Don't let it kick her!" It was highly amusing considering Tony is the last person in the whole world that a horse would get out of control for PLUS he was riding Sweety who lives up to her name. Tony was only joking, like always.

Square Dance that night. and guess who got hurt? Yep. Me. I got a concussion. Yes, go ahead and laugh. I got a concussion at a square dance. How? Well, there's this thing called a "rip and snort" where you dive across the square and under the arms of the couple across from you. I was across the square from one of the kitchen guys named Moose (that's his nickname, don't worry.) Moose is BIG. Like my coach Mike BIG. A good 6'4" with about 250 lbs on him. and for some reason when "rip and snort" was called Moose decides he's going to dive under my arm but I'm diving under his arm at the same time. and crash head collision. Moose doesn't even blink but I get sent reeling backwards. It was bad. My headache progressed all night and I threw up during the night and I was my stupid self and got up and worked this morning. Needless to say that wasn't great. My balance was awful (and it was icy) and I couldn't really focus on words or anything. bad bad bad.
I'm my stupid self and keep telling Jenn Ham, my boss, that I'm fine and I'm not going to over do it. But of course do I know my limits? Ha.

J Ham marched me back to my room at lunch, and her and Hannah tucked me in. and I zonked out. I slept for about four hours straight of probably the deepest sleep possible while still being conscience. I woke up feeling about 85% better. I can now balance and focus my eyes. But my headache is still this dull ache. yuck.

HAVE YOU SEEN MY LIMO?

Yesterday was our day off. Five of us girls went into Woodland Park, the nearest town town, and went shopping. At Walmart.

One of the girls, *Rachel, wanted to listen to Backstreet Boys and Disney songs the whole way. That was very quickly shot down by the other four us. One song maybe, but 45 minutes of it? No thanks. Unfortunately she was sitting shotgun meaning she was controlling the iPod and we had to keep grabbing it from her and changing it. Needless to say by the time we arrived at Walmart my fuse with her was very short.

Walmart is dangerous. I've never really spent a lot of time at Walmart until being out here so I didn't realize that you go in with only three things on your list and come out two hours later having spent three times as mush as you planned.

*Anna and I spent most of the time searching for Batman and Transformers stuff to make a birthday present for her friend. and *Rachel followed us around the whole time chattering away about who knows what. But all you people who know me know that when I'm on a short fuse with someone they should steer clear of me. *Rachel did not understand this. At one point I stood and compared metal closet hangers vs wooden closet hangers just so she'd walk away and I could disappear into the aisles of Walmart. When I met up with her thirty minutes later she started singing Disney songs and I snapped. Let just say it wasn't good. It was bad. She avoided the rest of the day and I have yet to see her today. So we'll see...

I calmed down by getting a pedicure. We all did. In Walmart. It was pretty sweet. My polish is called "Have You Seen My Limo?"

We went to dinner at this Mexican restaurant. (*Rachel sat at the far end of the table from me.) and we pretended it was *Anna's birthday so we got free dessert and she got whip cream in her face. It was pretty sweet.

On the way home we stopped halfway down the dirt road to the ranch, climbed out, and just stood in the complete silence staring at the stars. More white stars then black sky.

I've introduced the card game Up and Down the River to the folks game the other night. I've already played 7+ games since Thursday night.

LIQUOR AND ICE CREAM

I smell like hay/alfalfa with a hint of LOC (Liquid Organic Cleaner, which you can eat if you want. I wouldn't suggest it though. It tastes like soap. Big surprise there) mixed in.
That's because I spent my day cleaning cabins and feeding horses.
I can't move and I need to shower before dinner because no one ever goes to dinner dirty. So all staff showers between 5 and 6 everyday. So If I don't hurry they'll be no hot water left. not cool. actually it will be cool temperature just not ok.

As we clean we listen to music. We keep forgetting our cds so we listen to "Denver's New Country Station KYGO!" Now any country song that comes on there is a 95% chance I could sing every word of it. Not exaggerating at all. Country music grows on you though. The one time we weren't listening to country today was in the barn when Biff, one of the wranglers, decided he wanted to listen to Dirty Dancing Havana Nights and no one was going to argue. Lisa: I thought of you and Larry Goes to Michigan when we were listening to it.

It's been snowing on and off the past couple of days here. So there's about three feet of snow with a layer of ice on the bottom everywhere. Our handy dandy maintenance guys have been shoveling and plowing nonstop it seems. So it's not really a pain to get around. It's just super pretty.

I forgot to add my address last post:
Leslie Urban
Lost Valley Ranch
29555 Goose Creak Road
Sedalia, CO 80135

It's funny because Sedalia is about an hour and a half East of us. The nearest town is Deckers and is about 12 miles away, or a half hour. Deckers actually just lost it's town status it's so small. It has all the essentials of a town though: a place to get liquor, coffee, fish bait, and ice cream.
What more could you ask for?

AIR THAT NEEDS MORE OXYGEN

Finally! I'm on the internet.

So much to say.

I'm in the middle of nowhere. Literally. It's amazing. To get to the ranch you drive an hour plus out of Denver, then down a two lane deserted highway through the mountains and then another half hour down a one land dirty road that is so bumpy it buzzes up your spine with every curve.

It snows every night and I wake up each morning to the smell of bacon because I live in the kitchen bunk house. It's -10 degrees in the morning, not exaggerating, and by two every afternoon it's 50 degrees and I was walking around the ranch in a t-shirt. 

I look out my window to the sun rising over the mountains. It's spectacular here. How do I life without mountains?

Last night I walked outside and thought the stars were fake there were so many. It was so bright just from star light. and the air here is delicious. I just want to stand outside and breathe. Only problem: it needs more oxygen in it. The first couple days I had a MASSIVE headache and I'm still constantly yawning.

The main hill on the ranch is called Coronary Hill. This morning I was up at the top of the hill sweeping a porch of one of the cabins and I look down Coronary Hill and see Tony, the ranch foreman (who has probably the cutiest baby I've ever met. Her name's Becca and she's turning one of Thursday and lets anyone hold her and is always "talking" away.) waaaay down at the bottom. He looks about the height of my thumb to give you an idea how big this hill is. and I stop sweeping and the only sound I can here is Tony's footsteps. Clear as day I can hear them. and nothing else. Why do I live in the city again?

So it's spring cleaning time. Meaning Cleaning with a capital C. We walk into the building and pull everything off the walls and pile all the furniture in the middle of the room. "Nothing left untouched." We scrub the furniture. We scrub the walls. We scrub the bathrooms. We even scrub the ceilings. It's ridiculous. We scrub the radiators. We scrub the lambs. We scrub the closets. It's insane. But let me tell you when we're done there's never been anything so clean. It's ridiculously hard work. By the time bedtime comes around we crash. Normally around 9:30.

The cabin girls' van is called Mona. Picture a white kidnapping van. Now take out all the back seats. Take off all her sliding doors so there's a gapping hole in the side, beat her up a bit, and make her temperamental. That is Mona. She's amazing. She hauls us and all our gear up Coronary Hill multiple times a day and we only have to try starting her a minimum of twice. Most of the time we hang out the hole where the door should be or smash waaaay to many people in the front seat. She's a pretty sweet ride.

I've made friends with one of the ranch dogs. His name is Tex. He follows me everywhere. He's like my shadow. He carries around a stick and is always wanting me to play fetch with him. When I'm inside a cabin cleaning he sits on the front porch and whenever he sees me pass by the window he sits up and gives me a sad puppy dog face saying, why wouldn't you let me in too? He doesn't understand that dog hair doesn't help us in our cleaning.

The ranch has over a hundred horses. Six of them are pregnant and our due in April. I get to see foals being born!

Our first guests come on Valentine's Day. I'm excited. But for now I'm cleaning cabins through Thursday. And after that we ahve a bunch of orientation stuff and riding!

Anybody watch the Superbowl yesterday?!?!?!? The staff went up to the top of Coronary Hill to Tony and Brooke (Tony's wife/Becca's mother) House, a doublewide, and smashed all 25+ of us in for a superbowl party. That forth quarter was pretty sweet. I wonder what Tom Brady did that night.

It's past bedtime here. Actually everyone right now is up in the Roundup Room watching a cowboy movie, Open Range. It's just now ending. Don't watch it. It's awful. But it's funny because I'm on a ranch, watching a cowboy movie, surrounded by actual wranglers (Mike right now is trying to read over my shoulder. He says he's not a wrangler. He does maintenance. Oh but now Peter is chiming in saying he IS a wrangler. whatever.) in a room that's hardcore Western style decor and if I stuck my head out the West window I can guarantee you I'd get a whiff of manure. Yes! My favorite!

EMO ELMO

I voted today for the first time. It was slightly surreal.

I'm packing. (My next post will be from Colorado)
I have stacks on stacks of stuff to bring covering ALL of TT's bed. I can't see the bedspread.
and then I have a pile of junk going into my backpack spread out all over my bed.

When I left of the Academy I moved out of my room and threw most of my room away. Everything I wanted to keep (including clothes) was put in three boxes in the basement. When I came home, I moved into the little room and unpacked two of those three boxes. (The last one is still sitting unpacked in the basement. It's mostly old yearbooks and photo albums. Things I'll want later but not in this in between time.) Needless to say I don't have much junk.

But the one thing I have in my room is a drawer full of letters. Every letter I've gotten since last June. Including all my Academy mail. I came home and threw all my letters in that drawer without rereading them or anything. I only open that drawer every once in awhile to throw in a new letter. Until today that is.

Over the past month or two I've started healing and put my life back together. and I've been putting off reading these letters even though I know I'll have to at some point in order to move on. I don't really want the Academy to define me for the rest of my life. So I went through my letters. It took the past two hours and there were many tears and too many memories but I found some interesting stuff-

-14 envelops from KO! each one had one sheet of paper in it. each paper had one letter on it. Putting the 14 sheets together they spelled "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" I remember opening these the first day I was in DOR and spreading them out on the empty bed next to mine and just crying. I left them lying there until my roommate moved in three days later.

-warning sheets for the meningococcal vaccine, yellow fever vaccine, and the Hepatitis A vaccine I got at the Academy. I have no idea why I saved these. The only people in the US who have the yellow fever vaccine are military personal.

-5 pictures from the Sesame Street coloring book colored by Lisa, Kirsten, Sarah. One is of big bird wearing "bling" pushing Elmo on a swing. Elmo has a black heart because supposedly ""he's emo." I guess Lisa, Kirsten, and Sarah were feeling a little melodramatic that day.


-a road map of Michigan

- Cedar form letter from TT. I've sent bunches of these over the years and this was the first one I'd ever received!

-plus tons and tons of other letters, cards, and postcards all sending their love and support

Thank you everyone. I'm blessed to have so many people love me.

$16.28

Over the past couple of days I've been in four different thrift stores. Let me tell you some thrift stores look like they haven't gotten anything new since 1986 and have a very distinct smell of dusty closets.

For a grand total of $16.28 I bought-
-a black felt boot length skirt
-a jean boot length skirt
-a salmon colored boot length skirt
-a pink polo
-a white polo
-a dark blue polo
-a purple plaid flannel shirt
-a mickey mouse tie

(The Mickey Mouse tie isn't for Colorado I just saw it and got it. It was 60 cents. I didn't even realize it was mickey mouse until I got home. I just thought it was a cool looking red and black tie.)

Pretty good if you ask me. Especially since none of these places have dressing rooms so you have to guesstimate if anything is going to fit by holding up it up to your body. But of course you're wearing ten bazillion layers because it's -14 degrees outside with the wind chill and you walked there because your brother took the car to his exams.
I guess I did a pretty good job guesstimating because it all works.

And tomorrow I'm getting boots (crossing fingers)

SKINHEADS PRAYING

Yesterday I started at Penn State and drove to Kate's house outside Pittsburgh and ate lunch/dinner. Then drove to Pittsburgh dumped out three suitcases and stuffed it all back into two suitcases. I think there's a rule of the universe that says no matter what, packing to go back never fits into what you packed originally in. I only added two pairs of pants and a shirt to my luggage and yet nothing fit anymore. I then hopped on a Greyhound to Columbus. Where I am now staying with the Leachs.

On the Greyhound I sat in the second to last row surrounded by skinhead boys who were scary. They had those haunted looking eyes, tattoos all over, and one sounded like Morgan Freemen chewing on gravel. I tried to drown them out with my music but they kept asking me if I wanted a chip. I kept saying no.
But then at one point music stopped and I listened to their conversation. They were talking about their faith, their prayers, and how God is working through them to help their communities.
I felt guilty and judgemental for automatically assuming that they were scary guys just because they looked a certain way. I had just watched Crash the day before also and had been thinking a lot about stereotypes and then I go and do exactly what I had been thinking about not doing.

I love being here at the Leachs. I went to school with Anna this morning, to go to her sign language class but the teacher never showed up so I sat around and talked with her friends.
Then breakfast with Anna and Mrs. Jane Leach. They're so easy to talk to. And sitting here on their computer Anna's back at school, Jane is puttering in the kitchen, Gwen's still asleep, Don is off being mayor, and I'm just typing away. It feels like a second home here.

Speaking of home: I am half a day away from my real home! If you want the exact hours until I'm home call Emy. She has a countdown.

"What About The Fries?"

I am in Sarah's dorm room. We just woke up from a two and a half hour nap. It feels so good.

Sarah says I don't have anything funny to post.
It's sort of true. This has been an emotional weekend. But I can try can't I?

Last night we went to Late Night Crafts. We decorated calenders with fabric paint while listening to painful karaoke. My calender is gorgeous because it has gobs and gobs of colorful paint on it! I'm giving it to Emy. Emy will love it. Mom will hate it.

All night I'd been having this craving for a rootbeer float. So we went to McDonalds at 1am. I ordered a rootbeer and a soft serve vanilla ice cream. And stood at the counter and dumped the ice cream in the cup. The cashier ignored me. Sarah and Kerry laughed at me. and the drunk guy behind us in line asked me, "what about the fries?" It hit the spot.

OH big news folks. I now own a Penn State shirt. Wait wait I'm not a traitor. It was free and it doesn't even really say Penn State on it. It's just blue and white and says "Late Night in the White Building" Don't ask me what it means. I don't know. Only people on campus here would ever know it was a Penn State shirt so it's all good.

Oh wait actual important news: I go to Colorado on the 29th! My uniform for the spring is Western. Meaning cowboy boots, cowboy hat, jeans or skirt, and "western style shirts." (I'm assuming that means like button up plaid etc) I'm NOT allowed to wear my druggie hat, skirts shorter then knee length, flip flops (except in the showers) or any shirts that have religion or university logos on them. So basically only solid colors.
Yes! I'm going to be a cowgirl! Pictures to come...

SIMON THE AFRICAN PENGUIN

This post is for TT and Kate who spent last night checking email and waiting for this post.

Yesterday I decided to go to the National Aviary. I don't really have this extreme interest in birds or anything I just needed something to do. I borrowed Brandi's car and had google tell me how to get there. According to Google it should have taken only about 16 mins to get there. I saw the Aviary. I saw it 15 mins later but didn't end up parking for another 30 mins. There was no sign saying that the road I was about to turn onto turned into a highway with no exits for a good 5 miles. And not all exit ramps have an entrance ramp on the other side.

Once I finally arrived it was well worth it.
I had a staring contest with a bald eagle and lost.
I learned all about the tucan's hollow beaks.
I tossed fish and a pelican caught them in midair.
I held up frozen fish and the birds swept down and grabbed it out of my hand.
A vulture soared by and brushed my head.
I had to slam a door in a roseate spoonbill's face so he wouldn't escape.

But by far the coolest thing were the lorries (above)
I walked into their room with a little cup of nectar and instantly I had five on my hand squabbling over the nectar, three on my arm trying to scramble to hang on, one on each shoulder, and even one on my head. I wish I had had a camera. I must have looked like the bird lady in Mary Poppins. "Feed the birds. Tuppence a bag."
After the food was finished most of them flew away. Except there was one on my hand who started licking my hand, (They have these really long tongues.) one sat there and chatted to me, while his friend tried to chew off my hair band. It was the amusing,

I went to the gift shop so I could find a postcard of the lorries to send to Gami for her bulletin board but the only postcard they had was of Simon the African Penguin.
Me: Do you have any postcards of the lorries?
Store Lady: Oh, no we only have the penguin.
Me: uh...
Store Lady: His name is Simon...He's from Africa.
Me: um...But I didn't see Simon the African Penguin
Store Lady: Oh, that's because he's not out. You only get to see him if you're with a school group.
Oh of course! why did I think of that? I mean of course I want his postcard now. NOT.

The drive home only took an hour. It wasn't my fault that all the detours I had to take because of construction ended in the middle of nowhere familiar. Actually nothing is familiar here. There's no lake to tell me which way is East. I have no idea what direction downtown is from Pitt or anything else. I just drove.

I got home only a little stressed out and was suppose to go to campus, but had no interest in ever leaving the house again. Plus Pittsburgh is disgusting. It's gray and wet without actually rainy all the time. It makes you want to curl up. So I called mom and she told me to go cook.

I found this recipe for Greek Beef Stew. The recipe called for red wine. Not even thinking about it I tried to buy some along with all the other ingredients. Let's just say this didn't go to well. In my mind it wasn't alcohol. I was cooking with it. But that's not how it works. Duh, you might say. But I mean I wasn't thinking about drinking it I just wanted to cook with it. But I got carded and it took me going around with the cashier a couple of times to realize that I couldn't buy it because I wasn't 21. But the stew was amazing anyways. Even if I did have to chop 2lbs of onions and couldn't see through my tears because of it.

I'm off to Penn State tonight. Larry gets a visitor.

ALMOND JUICE

This week I've been going to school. The first time since last May. Let's just say nothing has changed: it's still hard to stay awake.

Human physiology- AWFUL AWFUL AWFUL Professor. Direct quotes from her: "I'm not quite sure why I'm teaching it in this order. But we'll see if it works." um...hello! Isn't it your job to make sure it works and that it makes sense so we can learn it?
At one point she looks at a slide she has up and says, "why did I put this up? Oh, because I thought it was pretty. See blue and gold. Blue and Gold Pitt. Go Pitt!"
I did learn all about the ouabain plant that blocks the NA+/K+atpase channels that makes the cell lose equilibrium. But Kate was the one who explained that not the professor.

History of Chinese Landscape Painting-I had to doodle to stay awake. but the gay guy sitting next to TT is going to be my new best friend.

English Origins of American Law-I hadn't read any of the material, I haven't taken any European History at all. and yet I learned everything I could ever want to know about William the Conqueror and the Doomsday Book. This professor knew her stuff, made it interesting, and had me understanding and wanting to know more.

On other news I've been walking everywhere around here. Walking on hills uses a totally different set of muscles then rowing does. I feel old, creaking with every step.
Yesterday in my wanderings I found a wheat-free, dairy-free bakery that had the best turnovers I've ever tasted. They use almond milk to replace dairy. How do you get almond milk? Put almonds in a juicer?

WEED AND ITALIAN MOBSTERS

I woke at 5:30 Sunday morning to Jessi and Danielle talking and Jessi calling, "Leslie? Leslie, If you hear me, are you still here? Leslie, come here if you're here!" She was surprised when I jumped on top of her. I then spent a good fifteen minutes searching for toothpaste in Mel's bathrooms. Which I could not find. and made it to the station just in time to pick up my ticket and stand in line for an hour waiting for a good seat.

Cast of Characters on the Greyhound with me:

The Veterans: Probably about half the bus was veterans leaving Chicago going to South Bend. All of them wearing hats saying "Dessert Storm Veteran" "Native Veteran" "Marine Corp Veteran" etc.
My favorite of all the veterans was the one in his cameo jacket sitting in front of me who ten minutes outside of Chicago rolls a blunt and starts smoking on the bus. The bus driver stops the bus comes back and goes, "Are you kidding me?!?!" and kicks him off the bus.

The Punk Rock Band from Canada: Three guys who had obviously been up all night doing who knows what. They were trying to get back to Toronto, but had just arrived at the station and got on the first bus heading out, which happened to be heading towards Pittsburgh. They spent the whole time trying to find someone with a map of Greyhound routes so they could figure out how to get North.

The Italian Mob: His name was Sammy and he was straight off the Sopranos. Like straight off. He was a big man. Easily 250lbs but a good inch shorter then me. He had on the black sweater with black pants and black suit and black sunglasses and the suspicious looking black leather bag. And of course he decides to sit next to me. And he starts talking. He's Sicilian and is "in the family business." He was on his way to Atlantic City to "take care of business" and play in a Texas Hold 'em tournament. He was taking the bus because he's "had some um... issues with some airlines." At this point I curled into my corner with my headphones on and trying to read my book. But he pulls out his phone and starts planning a trip to Paris for me. and telling me about his ex-girlfriend and why things went wrong. Um...awkward.
Later he asks me what music I listen to. I say, "anything but country" and he starts singing country to me. like at the top of his voice and the whole bus sort of freezes until the driver shouts, "QUIET!" and Sammy stops. At this point I'm beyond done with him. I only have another seven hours next to him. Oh joy.
So I go to "sleep."
After our layover in Cleveland he actually falls asleep but remember this is a big guy and when he starts to relax, he starts to expand. and the next thing I know I'm smashed into the window trying to avoid contact with him. So for a good two hours I literally have my shoulder, hip, leg, head pressed against the glass debating with myself if I should try and shove him back to his seat. But what if I wake him? He's pretty much told me he's in the mob. I do NOT want to piss him off. In the end the bus stops at some obscure station and people start to get off and I shove him back to his seat and when he wakes up I pretend it was one of the guys getting off. He bought it. He falls back asleep, thankfully now falling into the aisle not onto me.

The Dealer in Cleveland: I'm standing in line to reboard in Cleveland and this guy probably a year or two older then me comes up and starts telling me about how he's never left Cleveland before and how he was planning on staying with his cousin in Pittsburgh and then hopefully heading out to California in about six months. I just smile and nod. He keeps talking and then asks, "So do you smoke? like pot?" "um...." what am I suppose to say to that. "well I have some if you need some." "um...no. thanks."
Kate, TT's roommate, says it was because I looked like a hippie in my tye-dye and sweatpants. Good thing I wasn't wearing my hat, right?

Let's just say I was a little more then excited to see TT and Kate at the station in Pittsburgh.
Time for half-price pizza and the most amazing brownie sundaes ever. They might have tasted so good because the only thing I'd really eaten all day was three peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
Speaking of peanut butter, mother sent me with a jar of peanut butter to give to the apartment because supposedly I'd wipe them out.

INDEFINITELY IS A LONG TIME

I'm not sure exactly of the plan this spring. But it starts Sunday with a 13+ hours on a Greyhound bus to Pittsburgh.
My mother asks me what I'll do once I'm there. "Indefinitely is a long time, you know"
Welcome to my life, mother. Without a day-to-day plan is how I've been living for awhile now.
Plus living off my sister in Pittsburgh has an end, I just don't know exactly when it will end. Next Saturday? Next month?
Greyhound goes pretty much anywhere I want anyways.
State College, PA. Hamilton, NY. Columbus, OH. Chatham, NJ. Boston, MA. Dayton, OH. St. Paul, MN.
Of course that's getting expensive, but the magic of the "Go Anywhere Fares"
I'm excited. Not this overwhelming panic attacks like last June. It will only Friday though. I still have two days.