EMO ELMO

I voted today for the first time. It was slightly surreal.

I'm packing. (My next post will be from Colorado)
I have stacks on stacks of stuff to bring covering ALL of TT's bed. I can't see the bedspread.
and then I have a pile of junk going into my backpack spread out all over my bed.

When I left of the Academy I moved out of my room and threw most of my room away. Everything I wanted to keep (including clothes) was put in three boxes in the basement. When I came home, I moved into the little room and unpacked two of those three boxes. (The last one is still sitting unpacked in the basement. It's mostly old yearbooks and photo albums. Things I'll want later but not in this in between time.) Needless to say I don't have much junk.

But the one thing I have in my room is a drawer full of letters. Every letter I've gotten since last June. Including all my Academy mail. I came home and threw all my letters in that drawer without rereading them or anything. I only open that drawer every once in awhile to throw in a new letter. Until today that is.

Over the past month or two I've started healing and put my life back together. and I've been putting off reading these letters even though I know I'll have to at some point in order to move on. I don't really want the Academy to define me for the rest of my life. So I went through my letters. It took the past two hours and there were many tears and too many memories but I found some interesting stuff-

-14 envelops from KO! each one had one sheet of paper in it. each paper had one letter on it. Putting the 14 sheets together they spelled "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" I remember opening these the first day I was in DOR and spreading them out on the empty bed next to mine and just crying. I left them lying there until my roommate moved in three days later.

-warning sheets for the meningococcal vaccine, yellow fever vaccine, and the Hepatitis A vaccine I got at the Academy. I have no idea why I saved these. The only people in the US who have the yellow fever vaccine are military personal.

-5 pictures from the Sesame Street coloring book colored by Lisa, Kirsten, Sarah. One is of big bird wearing "bling" pushing Elmo on a swing. Elmo has a black heart because supposedly ""he's emo." I guess Lisa, Kirsten, and Sarah were feeling a little melodramatic that day.


-a road map of Michigan

- Cedar form letter from TT. I've sent bunches of these over the years and this was the first one I'd ever received!

-plus tons and tons of other letters, cards, and postcards all sending their love and support

Thank you everyone. I'm blessed to have so many people love me.

$16.28

Over the past couple of days I've been in four different thrift stores. Let me tell you some thrift stores look like they haven't gotten anything new since 1986 and have a very distinct smell of dusty closets.

For a grand total of $16.28 I bought-
-a black felt boot length skirt
-a jean boot length skirt
-a salmon colored boot length skirt
-a pink polo
-a white polo
-a dark blue polo
-a purple plaid flannel shirt
-a mickey mouse tie

(The Mickey Mouse tie isn't for Colorado I just saw it and got it. It was 60 cents. I didn't even realize it was mickey mouse until I got home. I just thought it was a cool looking red and black tie.)

Pretty good if you ask me. Especially since none of these places have dressing rooms so you have to guesstimate if anything is going to fit by holding up it up to your body. But of course you're wearing ten bazillion layers because it's -14 degrees outside with the wind chill and you walked there because your brother took the car to his exams.
I guess I did a pretty good job guesstimating because it all works.

And tomorrow I'm getting boots (crossing fingers)

SKINHEADS PRAYING

Yesterday I started at Penn State and drove to Kate's house outside Pittsburgh and ate lunch/dinner. Then drove to Pittsburgh dumped out three suitcases and stuffed it all back into two suitcases. I think there's a rule of the universe that says no matter what, packing to go back never fits into what you packed originally in. I only added two pairs of pants and a shirt to my luggage and yet nothing fit anymore. I then hopped on a Greyhound to Columbus. Where I am now staying with the Leachs.

On the Greyhound I sat in the second to last row surrounded by skinhead boys who were scary. They had those haunted looking eyes, tattoos all over, and one sounded like Morgan Freemen chewing on gravel. I tried to drown them out with my music but they kept asking me if I wanted a chip. I kept saying no.
But then at one point music stopped and I listened to their conversation. They were talking about their faith, their prayers, and how God is working through them to help their communities.
I felt guilty and judgemental for automatically assuming that they were scary guys just because they looked a certain way. I had just watched Crash the day before also and had been thinking a lot about stereotypes and then I go and do exactly what I had been thinking about not doing.

I love being here at the Leachs. I went to school with Anna this morning, to go to her sign language class but the teacher never showed up so I sat around and talked with her friends.
Then breakfast with Anna and Mrs. Jane Leach. They're so easy to talk to. And sitting here on their computer Anna's back at school, Jane is puttering in the kitchen, Gwen's still asleep, Don is off being mayor, and I'm just typing away. It feels like a second home here.

Speaking of home: I am half a day away from my real home! If you want the exact hours until I'm home call Emy. She has a countdown.

"What About The Fries?"

I am in Sarah's dorm room. We just woke up from a two and a half hour nap. It feels so good.

Sarah says I don't have anything funny to post.
It's sort of true. This has been an emotional weekend. But I can try can't I?

Last night we went to Late Night Crafts. We decorated calenders with fabric paint while listening to painful karaoke. My calender is gorgeous because it has gobs and gobs of colorful paint on it! I'm giving it to Emy. Emy will love it. Mom will hate it.

All night I'd been having this craving for a rootbeer float. So we went to McDonalds at 1am. I ordered a rootbeer and a soft serve vanilla ice cream. And stood at the counter and dumped the ice cream in the cup. The cashier ignored me. Sarah and Kerry laughed at me. and the drunk guy behind us in line asked me, "what about the fries?" It hit the spot.

OH big news folks. I now own a Penn State shirt. Wait wait I'm not a traitor. It was free and it doesn't even really say Penn State on it. It's just blue and white and says "Late Night in the White Building" Don't ask me what it means. I don't know. Only people on campus here would ever know it was a Penn State shirt so it's all good.

Oh wait actual important news: I go to Colorado on the 29th! My uniform for the spring is Western. Meaning cowboy boots, cowboy hat, jeans or skirt, and "western style shirts." (I'm assuming that means like button up plaid etc) I'm NOT allowed to wear my druggie hat, skirts shorter then knee length, flip flops (except in the showers) or any shirts that have religion or university logos on them. So basically only solid colors.
Yes! I'm going to be a cowgirl! Pictures to come...

SIMON THE AFRICAN PENGUIN

This post is for TT and Kate who spent last night checking email and waiting for this post.

Yesterday I decided to go to the National Aviary. I don't really have this extreme interest in birds or anything I just needed something to do. I borrowed Brandi's car and had google tell me how to get there. According to Google it should have taken only about 16 mins to get there. I saw the Aviary. I saw it 15 mins later but didn't end up parking for another 30 mins. There was no sign saying that the road I was about to turn onto turned into a highway with no exits for a good 5 miles. And not all exit ramps have an entrance ramp on the other side.

Once I finally arrived it was well worth it.
I had a staring contest with a bald eagle and lost.
I learned all about the tucan's hollow beaks.
I tossed fish and a pelican caught them in midair.
I held up frozen fish and the birds swept down and grabbed it out of my hand.
A vulture soared by and brushed my head.
I had to slam a door in a roseate spoonbill's face so he wouldn't escape.

But by far the coolest thing were the lorries (above)
I walked into their room with a little cup of nectar and instantly I had five on my hand squabbling over the nectar, three on my arm trying to scramble to hang on, one on each shoulder, and even one on my head. I wish I had had a camera. I must have looked like the bird lady in Mary Poppins. "Feed the birds. Tuppence a bag."
After the food was finished most of them flew away. Except there was one on my hand who started licking my hand, (They have these really long tongues.) one sat there and chatted to me, while his friend tried to chew off my hair band. It was the amusing,

I went to the gift shop so I could find a postcard of the lorries to send to Gami for her bulletin board but the only postcard they had was of Simon the African Penguin.
Me: Do you have any postcards of the lorries?
Store Lady: Oh, no we only have the penguin.
Me: uh...
Store Lady: His name is Simon...He's from Africa.
Me: um...But I didn't see Simon the African Penguin
Store Lady: Oh, that's because he's not out. You only get to see him if you're with a school group.
Oh of course! why did I think of that? I mean of course I want his postcard now. NOT.

The drive home only took an hour. It wasn't my fault that all the detours I had to take because of construction ended in the middle of nowhere familiar. Actually nothing is familiar here. There's no lake to tell me which way is East. I have no idea what direction downtown is from Pitt or anything else. I just drove.

I got home only a little stressed out and was suppose to go to campus, but had no interest in ever leaving the house again. Plus Pittsburgh is disgusting. It's gray and wet without actually rainy all the time. It makes you want to curl up. So I called mom and she told me to go cook.

I found this recipe for Greek Beef Stew. The recipe called for red wine. Not even thinking about it I tried to buy some along with all the other ingredients. Let's just say this didn't go to well. In my mind it wasn't alcohol. I was cooking with it. But that's not how it works. Duh, you might say. But I mean I wasn't thinking about drinking it I just wanted to cook with it. But I got carded and it took me going around with the cashier a couple of times to realize that I couldn't buy it because I wasn't 21. But the stew was amazing anyways. Even if I did have to chop 2lbs of onions and couldn't see through my tears because of it.

I'm off to Penn State tonight. Larry gets a visitor.

ALMOND JUICE

This week I've been going to school. The first time since last May. Let's just say nothing has changed: it's still hard to stay awake.

Human physiology- AWFUL AWFUL AWFUL Professor. Direct quotes from her: "I'm not quite sure why I'm teaching it in this order. But we'll see if it works." um...hello! Isn't it your job to make sure it works and that it makes sense so we can learn it?
At one point she looks at a slide she has up and says, "why did I put this up? Oh, because I thought it was pretty. See blue and gold. Blue and Gold Pitt. Go Pitt!"
I did learn all about the ouabain plant that blocks the NA+/K+atpase channels that makes the cell lose equilibrium. But Kate was the one who explained that not the professor.

History of Chinese Landscape Painting-I had to doodle to stay awake. but the gay guy sitting next to TT is going to be my new best friend.

English Origins of American Law-I hadn't read any of the material, I haven't taken any European History at all. and yet I learned everything I could ever want to know about William the Conqueror and the Doomsday Book. This professor knew her stuff, made it interesting, and had me understanding and wanting to know more.

On other news I've been walking everywhere around here. Walking on hills uses a totally different set of muscles then rowing does. I feel old, creaking with every step.
Yesterday in my wanderings I found a wheat-free, dairy-free bakery that had the best turnovers I've ever tasted. They use almond milk to replace dairy. How do you get almond milk? Put almonds in a juicer?

WEED AND ITALIAN MOBSTERS

I woke at 5:30 Sunday morning to Jessi and Danielle talking and Jessi calling, "Leslie? Leslie, If you hear me, are you still here? Leslie, come here if you're here!" She was surprised when I jumped on top of her. I then spent a good fifteen minutes searching for toothpaste in Mel's bathrooms. Which I could not find. and made it to the station just in time to pick up my ticket and stand in line for an hour waiting for a good seat.

Cast of Characters on the Greyhound with me:

The Veterans: Probably about half the bus was veterans leaving Chicago going to South Bend. All of them wearing hats saying "Dessert Storm Veteran" "Native Veteran" "Marine Corp Veteran" etc.
My favorite of all the veterans was the one in his cameo jacket sitting in front of me who ten minutes outside of Chicago rolls a blunt and starts smoking on the bus. The bus driver stops the bus comes back and goes, "Are you kidding me?!?!" and kicks him off the bus.

The Punk Rock Band from Canada: Three guys who had obviously been up all night doing who knows what. They were trying to get back to Toronto, but had just arrived at the station and got on the first bus heading out, which happened to be heading towards Pittsburgh. They spent the whole time trying to find someone with a map of Greyhound routes so they could figure out how to get North.

The Italian Mob: His name was Sammy and he was straight off the Sopranos. Like straight off. He was a big man. Easily 250lbs but a good inch shorter then me. He had on the black sweater with black pants and black suit and black sunglasses and the suspicious looking black leather bag. And of course he decides to sit next to me. And he starts talking. He's Sicilian and is "in the family business." He was on his way to Atlantic City to "take care of business" and play in a Texas Hold 'em tournament. He was taking the bus because he's "had some um... issues with some airlines." At this point I curled into my corner with my headphones on and trying to read my book. But he pulls out his phone and starts planning a trip to Paris for me. and telling me about his ex-girlfriend and why things went wrong. Um...awkward.
Later he asks me what music I listen to. I say, "anything but country" and he starts singing country to me. like at the top of his voice and the whole bus sort of freezes until the driver shouts, "QUIET!" and Sammy stops. At this point I'm beyond done with him. I only have another seven hours next to him. Oh joy.
So I go to "sleep."
After our layover in Cleveland he actually falls asleep but remember this is a big guy and when he starts to relax, he starts to expand. and the next thing I know I'm smashed into the window trying to avoid contact with him. So for a good two hours I literally have my shoulder, hip, leg, head pressed against the glass debating with myself if I should try and shove him back to his seat. But what if I wake him? He's pretty much told me he's in the mob. I do NOT want to piss him off. In the end the bus stops at some obscure station and people start to get off and I shove him back to his seat and when he wakes up I pretend it was one of the guys getting off. He bought it. He falls back asleep, thankfully now falling into the aisle not onto me.

The Dealer in Cleveland: I'm standing in line to reboard in Cleveland and this guy probably a year or two older then me comes up and starts telling me about how he's never left Cleveland before and how he was planning on staying with his cousin in Pittsburgh and then hopefully heading out to California in about six months. I just smile and nod. He keeps talking and then asks, "So do you smoke? like pot?" "um...." what am I suppose to say to that. "well I have some if you need some." "um...no. thanks."
Kate, TT's roommate, says it was because I looked like a hippie in my tye-dye and sweatpants. Good thing I wasn't wearing my hat, right?

Let's just say I was a little more then excited to see TT and Kate at the station in Pittsburgh.
Time for half-price pizza and the most amazing brownie sundaes ever. They might have tasted so good because the only thing I'd really eaten all day was three peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
Speaking of peanut butter, mother sent me with a jar of peanut butter to give to the apartment because supposedly I'd wipe them out.

INDEFINITELY IS A LONG TIME

I'm not sure exactly of the plan this spring. But it starts Sunday with a 13+ hours on a Greyhound bus to Pittsburgh.
My mother asks me what I'll do once I'm there. "Indefinitely is a long time, you know"
Welcome to my life, mother. Without a day-to-day plan is how I've been living for awhile now.
Plus living off my sister in Pittsburgh has an end, I just don't know exactly when it will end. Next Saturday? Next month?
Greyhound goes pretty much anywhere I want anyways.
State College, PA. Hamilton, NY. Columbus, OH. Chatham, NJ. Boston, MA. Dayton, OH. St. Paul, MN.
Of course that's getting expensive, but the magic of the "Go Anywhere Fares"
I'm excited. Not this overwhelming panic attacks like last June. It will only Friday though. I still have two days.