I leave tomorrow to go back to the West coast.
I've been waiting for this stint in Chicago all fall. Ever since that night waaay back in September when I hugged my dad goodbye outside my temporary dorm I've been so excited to come back to Chicago. I joked all fall that I'd spent all of one week at home over all of 2008, but behind all those jokes was a giant case of homesickness.
And home hasn't let me down. Not really. I mean, I don't really have my own space right now (thanks to the Taiwanese exchange student living with us) and I don't have anything really besides my computer and my sheep. and I was only here for two weeks. But I enjoyed my stay.
I found myself randomly going up and hugging my mother in the middle of cooking dinner (something my brother would do, but not me) and I found myself purposely going and playing cards or reading around the family.
We Urbans might joke that I'm the grouchy one of the family and that I get cranky rather easily but it's nice to have my niche. Even if when I'm never quite sure what bed I'm sleeping in or I grumble about too many people, I love my home.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Saturday, December 20, 2008
COOK TO STOP THE FALL
Well I'm home from Oregon. It weird being back in Chicago. I haven't really been back in almost a year. I mean I was home for 24 hrs in July for Kristine's graduation and then a week at the end of August where I got my wisdom teeth pulled. So that week does not really count considering the amount of drugs I was on makes memories from that time all in a fog.
But now I'm home. I've been home a week and only have a week left. This past week has been a hard one. I can feel myself slipping back to where I was last fall. Maybe not that low emotional point but to the point where I spend hours on end online or watching tv. And I wander the house. Living room, kitchen, dinning room, front hall, and back again. I find myself sitting, reading and rereading the same newspaper article. I catch myself letting phone calls go straight to voicemail. I stay up to all hours of the night because "I'm not tired" or "I have time to sleep tomorrow" The avoidance and homebodiness (is that a word?) from last fall is so easy to fall back into.
But I've been trying to counteract that. I'm not that person fragile person anymore. So cook. I've been cooking a lot. The ranch taught me that: how to cook, but also how to solve instead of avoid. One afternoon I turned on some Carole King and then some David Crowder Band and flipped through recipes and cookbooks. I spend all afternoon in the warm kitchen making dinner and dessert for the family. It was extremly rewarding, doing something constructive and benefical for all.
I took Gami grocery shopping which somehow turned into a stop at Vouge for ribbing and decorations for a Christmas stocking she's making.
I made gingerbread with Gami and her friend one morning. Talking about everything from Obama to rowing to geography of Africa.
I told Ranko I'd make a snowman with her today.
I'm making sure not to fall back down.
But now I'm home. I've been home a week and only have a week left. This past week has been a hard one. I can feel myself slipping back to where I was last fall. Maybe not that low emotional point but to the point where I spend hours on end online or watching tv. And I wander the house. Living room, kitchen, dinning room, front hall, and back again. I find myself sitting, reading and rereading the same newspaper article. I catch myself letting phone calls go straight to voicemail. I stay up to all hours of the night because "I'm not tired" or "I have time to sleep tomorrow" The avoidance and homebodiness (is that a word?) from last fall is so easy to fall back into.
But I've been trying to counteract that. I'm not that person fragile person anymore. So cook. I've been cooking a lot. The ranch taught me that: how to cook, but also how to solve instead of avoid. One afternoon I turned on some Carole King and then some David Crowder Band and flipped through recipes and cookbooks. I spend all afternoon in the warm kitchen making dinner and dessert for the family. It was extremly rewarding, doing something constructive and benefical for all.
I took Gami grocery shopping which somehow turned into a stop at Vouge for ribbing and decorations for a Christmas stocking she's making.
I made gingerbread with Gami and her friend one morning. Talking about everything from Obama to rowing to geography of Africa.
I told Ranko I'd make a snowman with her today.
I'm making sure not to fall back down.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
BLAHING MY WAY THROUGH ENGINEERING
I'm sitting in my engineering recitation not listening to the lecture.
My TA just admitted that he looked at the lesson plan for today ten minutes before class SO why should I try and appease him if he's not doing his half. He reads off the slides the professor provides and figures out the activities as we do them.
Oh, I started paying attention because he called on me. We're learning about ethics in engineering. I was asked to give an example of personal ethic problems. Luckily I could just look up and read that on the slide so I wasn't truly caught not paying attention.
blah blah blah
Only one more class meeting after this one for this class.
Did you know that "ethical standards are usually relative and personal"?
On another note I wore a tie to my oral presentation for this class last Thursday and got extra credit points on my presentation. Go ties!
And now we're suppose to know what the Ethical Cannons are but none of us have heard this before.
Ok I'm done.
My TA just admitted that he looked at the lesson plan for today ten minutes before class SO why should I try and appease him if he's not doing his half. He reads off the slides the professor provides and figures out the activities as we do them.
Oh, I started paying attention because he called on me. We're learning about ethics in engineering. I was asked to give an example of personal ethic problems. Luckily I could just look up and read that on the slide so I wasn't truly caught not paying attention.
blah blah blah
Only one more class meeting after this one for this class.
Did you know that "ethical standards are usually relative and personal"?
On another note I wore a tie to my oral presentation for this class last Thursday and got extra credit points on my presentation. Go ties!
And now we're suppose to know what the Ethical Cannons are but none of us have heard this before.
Ok I'm done.
Monday, December 1, 2008
LIBRARY WORKOUTS
I walked out of the library this afternoon into a crowd of people standing in a giant group. They were all quiet and listening to someone I couldn't identify.
It turned out to be man preaching. People were asking him about Jesus. He was answering their questions calmly and coherently. Just using scripture to tell the story. Not your standard sidewalk preacher.
On another note: it's December! Best month of the year. Everyone's festive and in a good mood. and it snows. Or at least snows in Chicago. It's 45 degrees and foggy here. Not a chance of snow.
Last week of term. Once I get through Thursday all I have to do is three exams in a seven day period. OH and workouts. Never forget the workouts. Our official "off season" means that coaches can't facilitate practice but that doesn't mean we have less workouts.
It turned out to be man preaching. People were asking him about Jesus. He was answering their questions calmly and coherently. Just using scripture to tell the story. Not your standard sidewalk preacher.
On another note: it's December! Best month of the year. Everyone's festive and in a good mood. and it snows. Or at least snows in Chicago. It's 45 degrees and foggy here. Not a chance of snow.
Last week of term. Once I get through Thursday all I have to do is three exams in a seven day period. OH and workouts. Never forget the workouts. Our official "off season" means that coaches can't facilitate practice but that doesn't mean we have less workouts.
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