CLAUSTROPHOBIC NIGHT

It is now 12:04am. I am out of bed. I have been in bed for the past two hours trying to fall asleep. All I've done is toss and turn. Every time I toss or turn the bunk bed moves, shaking Jenna awake.

The bed is in The Cave. It's a tiny room only wide enough for a set of bunk beds and a tiny walkway. There is a small window on one wall who's sill we sit in when we talk on the phone. But in general the room would not be considered a open space.

Most night I'm fine in there but every once in awhile I get claustrophobic in there. Especially sleeping on the bottom bunk.

At the ranch I slept outside all the time. On a rock, a picnic table, a grassy field, a mountain top. I'd fall asleep to thousands of stars and wake up to the sun peaking over Sheep's. I love that feeling of burrowing into the sleeping bag, staying warm with the trapped body heat. and then that brush of cold air as I got up in the morning. It would make sense if that cold air was a harsh wake up call but in reality it was a good morning greeting that made me excited for the glorious day ahead.

Here in The Cave of the bottom bunk I feel trapped. All I see are the glow in the dark stars and astronauts Jenna put on the slats of her bed. I fall asleep to florescent lights and wake up to stray text messages. The air always seems old, stale. Even with the window flung wide open and the van roaring on high. I just want to sleep outside.