Well I'm home from Oregon. It weird being back in Chicago. I haven't really been back in almost a year. I mean I was home for 24 hrs in July for Kristine's graduation and then a week at the end of August where I got my wisdom teeth pulled. So that week does not really count considering the amount of drugs I was on makes memories from that time all in a fog.
But now I'm home. I've been home a week and only have a week left. This past week has been a hard one. I can feel myself slipping back to where I was last fall. Maybe not that low emotional point but to the point where I spend hours on end online or watching tv. And I wander the house. Living room, kitchen, dinning room, front hall, and back again. I find myself sitting, reading and rereading the same newspaper article. I catch myself letting phone calls go straight to voicemail. I stay up to all hours of the night because "I'm not tired" or "I have time to sleep tomorrow" The avoidance and homebodiness (is that a word?) from last fall is so easy to fall back into.
But I've been trying to counteract that. I'm not that person fragile person anymore. So cook. I've been cooking a lot. The ranch taught me that: how to cook, but also how to solve instead of avoid. One afternoon I turned on some Carole King and then some David Crowder Band and flipped through recipes and cookbooks. I spend all afternoon in the warm kitchen making dinner and dessert for the family. It was extremly rewarding, doing something constructive and benefical for all.
I took Gami grocery shopping which somehow turned into a stop at Vouge for ribbing and decorations for a Christmas stocking she's making.
I made gingerbread with Gami and her friend one morning. Talking about everything from Obama to rowing to geography of Africa.
I told Ranko I'd make a snowman with her today.
I'm making sure not to fall back down.
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2 comments:
Don't you love how Gami's "just one errand" always turn into 5 stores and a whole morning?
Grandma's "short trip" never really go to one place. She once told me we would only be gone for fifteen minutes, of course it took two hours. she is so funny. I'm glad your home! Em
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